By Chelsea Gray — 2018
It’s hard to know what to say to a friend who is grieving. Here’s what you should keep in mind.
Read on www.vox.com
CLEAR ALL
You not calling, as a friend, can actually compound the grief and loss they are feeling. Just pick up the phone, even if you get it wrong, just have a conversation and do your best. Your friend with cancer is still the same person they were before.
No matter what you say to someone whose parent or loved one died, it should be derivative of the same goal: communicating empathy and offering assistance, understanding what a person might need from you, and knowing how to phrase sentiments the right way.
The truth is that many of us just don’t know the right words to comfort someone who is dying.
This is what it looks like when you grieve the death of an estranged parent. It’s this surreal thing, where everyone expects you to feel something—yet you don’t. For me, it didn’t feel like I lost a parent, or a loved one, or even a close friend. It felt like I’d lost what could have been.
One of the best ways adults can help young grievers is to listen to their stories. Telling their story is a healing experience.
Sorrow, relief and guilt are just a few emotions that may come up when your estranged parent dies.
Understanding the difference between a spiritual crisis and a mental illness is important to get to the root of the problem.
Spiritual “emergencies” require understanding from mental health professionals.
In most modern cultures, it’s common for people to feel uneasy about death. We express this discomfort by avoiding conversations on the topic and lowering our voices when speaking of the dead and dying.
With each diagnosis, knowing her life hung in the balance, she was “stunned, then anguished” and astonished by “how much energy it takes to get from the bad news to actually starting on the return path to health.”