By Beverly Engel — 2017
These four avenues can lead you toward self-forgiveness.
Read on www.psychologytoday.com
CLEAR ALL
At a weekend workshop I led, one of the participants, Marian, shared her story about the shame and guilt that had tortured her.
1
Guilt and shame can lead to depression, anxiety, and paranoia, but they also nudge us to behave better. Research suggests that they serve an important, adaptive function important for human survival.
At the end of the day, guilt and shame are crucial social emotions, as they keep people from acting in pure self-interest.
Our culture has taught us that we do not have the privilege of being vulnerable like other communities.
Judaism offers a series of ideas and guidelines for how to cope with offense and foster forgiveness. On Yom Kippur, it’s traditional to wear white, not only because white shows the slightest stain, but to remind us of the shrouds in which we will one day be buried.
I am not the only one that has uttered something shitty to their kid. Everyone has had their asshole parent moment(s)(s)(s) while dealing with a kid. But no one really knows that we are all asshole parents because we all suffer in silence over our own parenting disgrace.
The pandemic has exacerbated the isolation of early motherhood; some apps are trying to create a safer space for new moms.
When shame takes over, all we want is to get out of its discomfort—and in order to do so we often end up invalidating the other person involved to help ourselves feel better.
A trend that is unfortunately common with individuals and mothers in this generation is “Mom Shaming,” which generally speaking is criticizing a mother for making choices for her child(ren) because they differ from the choices the criticizing person would make.
Taking a close look at the elephant hidden in plain sight.