And while love languages are often called upon to provide insight into important relationships in our lives (romantic or otherwise) to help us connect on a deeper level and improve communication, a person’s primary love language can also be telling about how we can best give love to ourselves. Think of it as more of a self-love language.
There are two types of people in the world: those who believe in the Myers-Briggs personality test and those who don't. Except that's not true. Grouping people into two, three or 16 categories, which is the aim of a lot of personality tests, has never quite worked.
The concept of the “love languages,” then, is a gentle reminder of something that is at once obvious and easy to forget: Not everyone experiences the world in the exact same way that you do. Not even your partner.
While some people feel the most loved when they hear the words “I love you,” for folks with the acts of service love language, it’s more meaningful when you actually do something to show them your love. In other words, actions speak louder than words.
Perhaps what people misunderstand about the love-languages theory is similar to what they often misunderstand about love itself: that considering the needs and wants of the other person first and then adjusting your own behavior—and not expecting it to work the other way around—is what makes the...