By Patricia Rockman, Evan Collins — 2019
Considering how to make the children in our lives better people helps us reflect on how we ourselves can be more compassionate.
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CLEAR ALL
Our culture has taught us that we do not have the privilege of being vulnerable like other communities.
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How do shame and compassion relate to one another?
As parents, we need to step off our pedestal, stop dominating our kids, and instead treat them as we like to be treated. After all, do you like being shamed? Does it bring out the best in you?
The mild feeling of shame — the prefrontal cortex clutch shifting — is how kids learn to shift themselves from "forbidden" behavior to acceptable behavior.
Here's what you need to know about shaming your kids online and in public, including examples of shaming words that single parents, in particular, should avoid.
I wanted to give them better than what I had. It wasn't easy.
In 1989, at one of the first international Buddhist teacher meetings, Western teachers brought up the enormous problem of unworthiness and self-criticism, shame and self-hatred that frequently they arise in Western students’ practice.
At a weekend workshop I led, one of the participants, Marian, shared her story about the shame and guilt that had tortured her.