Avoidance will make you feel less vulnerable in the short run, but it will never make you less afraid.
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QUOTE
The ego is the false self-born out of fear and defensiveness.
John O’Donohue, PhD, (1956–2008) was an Irish poet and author who wrote about Celtic spirituality, the healing powers of the natural world, the bonds of friendship, and the rich complexity of the inner life. A former Catholic priest, he was also an accomplished Hegelian scholar and popular speaker.
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Only awareness of your shadow qualities can help you to find an appropriate place for your unredeemed darkness and thereby create a more satisfying experience.
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When we take rejection as proof of our inadequacies, it’s hard to allow ourselves to risk being truly seen again. . . . The problem arises when shame kicks in and we aren’t able to view our flaws, limitations, and vulnerabilities in a patient, self-loving way.
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It is not fear that stops you from doing the brave and true thing in your daily life. Rather, the problem is avoidance. You want to feel comfortable so you avoid doing or saying the thing that will evoke fear and other difficult emotions.
Only a real risk tests the reality of a belief.
When we try to protect ourselves from the inevitability of change, we are not listening to the soul. We are listening to our fear of life and death, our lack of faith, our smaller ego’s will to prevail.
2
There is nothing with which every man is so afraid as getting to know how enormously much he is capable of doing and becoming.
People fail to get along because they fear each other; they fear each other because they don’t know each other; they don’t know each other because they have not communicated with each other.
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You never know how much you really believe anything until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you.
Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say ‘My tooth is aching’ than to say ‘My heart is broken.’
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