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The best attitude to take toward back talk is to reach out and embrace it with love, compassion, and understanding. No need to criticize it for its shortcomings or to waste time in recriminations. Just give a loving nod and a hug to any back talk you get, and move on to the joyful creation of your fulfilled life.

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Gay Hendricks, PhD, is a psychologist, author, and teacher in the fields of personal growth, relationship transformation, and body/mind therapies. He conducts workshops with his wife, Kathlyn (Katie) Hendricks. They cofounded the Hendricks Institute, which teaches core skills for conscious living and loving, and together have written twelve books.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageDo not waste time bothering whether you ‘love’ your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageIf you love deeply, you’re going to get hurt badly. But it’s still worth it.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageLove is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageEmpathetic listening is an awesome medication for the hurting heart.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageThe miracle is that your children will love you with all your imperfections if you can do the same for them.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageIf only our passion to understand others were as great as our passion to be understood. Were this so, all our apologies would be truly meaningful and healing.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageWhen forgiveness experts talk in binary language (’You either forgive the wrongdoer or you are a prisoner of your own anger and hate’), they are collapsing the messy complexity of human emotions into a simplistic dichotomous equation.

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FindCenter Quotes ImagePeople’s sense of self-worth is pivotal to their ability to look clearly at the hurt they’ve caused. The more solid one’s sense of self regard, the more likely that that person can feel empathy and compassion for the hurt party, and apologize from an authentic center.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageExcessive use of external motivation can slow and even stop your journey to mastery.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageWhen we take rejection as proof of our inadequacies, it’s hard to allow ourselves to risk being truly seen again. . . . The problem arises when shame kicks in and we aren’t able to view our flaws, limitations, and vulnerabilities in a patient, self-loving way.

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Compassion