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Questioning ourselves for being ‘oversensitive’ is a common way that women, in particular, disqualify our legitimate anger and hurt. . . . The fact that some of us feel more vulnerable than others in a particular context does not mean we are weak or lesser in any way.

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Harriet Lerner is an American psychologist and preeminent voice on the psychology of women, family, and relationships. She is the author of several books on these subjects, including the New York Times bestseller The Dance of Anger.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageAvoidance will make you feel less vulnerable in the short run, but it will never make you less afraid.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageWe cannot make another person change his or her steps to an old dance, but if we change our own steps, the dance no longer can continue in the same predictable pattern.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageSuspicion often creates what it suspects.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageIf you love deeply, you’re going to get hurt badly. But it’s still worth it.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageStay a verb—don’t become a noun.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageOne of the deepest purposes of all art is to marry what is with what can be.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageEmpathetic listening is an awesome medication for the hurting heart.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageWe already have everything we need. There is no need for self-improvement. We are one blink of an eye away from being fully awake.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageIf only our passion to understand others were as great as our passion to be understood. Were this so, all our apologies would be truly meaningful and healing.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageWhen forgiveness experts talk in binary language (’You either forgive the wrongdoer or you are a prisoner of your own anger and hate’), they are collapsing the messy complexity of human emotions into a simplistic dichotomous equation.

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EXPLORE TOPIC

Negative Self-Talk