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Whenever something goes wrong in my life, I silently repeat the following phrases: This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment. May I give myself the compassion I need.

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Kristin Neff, PhD, is an American professor of psychology and pioneer in the field of self-compassion research. She has authored numerous academic articles and trade books on the topic, and is the creator of the Self-Compassion Scale, which is a tool for measuring inner empathy.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageMental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say ‘My tooth is aching’ than to say ‘My heart is broken.’

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FindCenter Quotes ImageIf you want to awaken all of humanity, then awaken all of yourself. If you want to eliminate the suffering in the world, then eliminate all that is dark and negative in yourself. Truly, the greatest gift you have to give is that of your own self-transformation.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageA bird was lying on his back in the road with his feet in the air. A horse saw him and asked, “What’re you doing?” The sparrow said, “I’m helping hold back the darkness.” The horse sneered and said, “Yeah, right,” and the sparrow said, “One does what one can.”

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FindCenter Quotes ImageAnyone who has made us suffer is undoubtedly suffering too.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageWhen we take rejection as proof of our inadequacies, it’s hard to allow ourselves to risk being truly seen again. . . . The problem arises when shame kicks in and we aren’t able to view our flaws, limitations, and vulnerabilities in a patient, self-loving way.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageForgiveness is not just a selfish pursuit of personal satisfaction or righteousness. It actually alleviates the amount of suffering in the world.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageAvoidance will make you feel less vulnerable in the short run, but it will never make you less afraid.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageThere’s a widespread belief that if you have solid self-esteem you don’t need outside affirmation and praise. This is patently untrue, by the way.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageTrauma is not what happens to us, but what we hold inside in the absence of an empathetic witness.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageOnly through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our connectedness to others.

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Kindness