Harriet Lerner is an American psychologist and preeminent voice on the psychology of women, family, and relationships. She is the author of several books on these subjects, including the New York Times bestseller The Dance of Anger.
CLEAR ALL
People’s sense of self-worth is pivotal to their ability to look clearly at the hurt they’ve caused. The more solid one’s sense of self regard, the more likely that that person can feel empathy and compassion for the hurt party, and apologize from an authentic center.
4
Only through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our connectedness to others.
7
We are what we believe we are!
No great wisdom can be reached without sacrifice.
Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn.
We are often better served by connecting ideas than we are by protecting them.
If you bring forth what is within you it will save you. If you do not, it will destroy you.
1
Respect the fact that all you do and are now has evolved for a good reason and serves an important purpose.
When we do not put our primary emotional energy into solving our own problems, we take on other people’s problems as our own.
2
Avoidance will make you feel less vulnerable in the short run, but it will never make you less afraid.