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I understand the need for answers about how another feels about us and why they behave the way they do. It is natural to want to make sense of things before deciding to either go in deeper or cut the cord in a relationship. But I do not feel that we should put our lives on hold if those answers are not forthcoming. It may be that they do not have a clear answer, or perhaps they do not have the capacity to communicate their feelings. Or, perhaps they are hiding something. Whatever it is, waiting a long time for another to make things clear is a big mistake. At some point, we need to bring the question home: Why am I putting my life on hold for another? Why am I giving this much power away? What beliefs about my own value are feeding into this holding pattern? If someone can’t or won’t communicate, it’s truly their loss. We have a precious life to live. Onwards and upwards . . .

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Jeff Brown is a Canadian author, filmmaker, and speaker focusing on spiritual growth. He is the founder of Soulshaping Institute, which he created to support others in their efforts to find their own path and purpose and to bridge the emotional and the spiritual life in a sustainable way.

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