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In the quest for self control, the usual weapons we wield against ourselves—guilt, stress, and shame—don’t work. People who have the greatest self-control aren’t waging self-war. They have learned to accept and integrate these competing selves.

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Kelly McGonigal, PhD, is an American health psychologist, lecturer, yoga practitioner, and author. She is known for her work translating discoveries in psychology and neuroscience into popular self-help strategies, most notably regarding the unexpected benefits of stress. She is a strong advocate of yoga, meditation, and self-compassion for physical and mental health.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageIndecision leads to inaction, which leads to low energy, depression, despair.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageStay a verb—don’t become a noun.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageLearning any new skill involves relatively brief spurts of progress, each of which is followed by a slight decline to a plateau somewhat higher in most cases than that which preceded it . . . the upward spurts vary; the plateaus have their own dips and rises along the way. . . .

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FindCenter Quotes ImageResolve to do the things you find to be difficult. That’s what confident people do. They tackle those things that are scary and they get addicted to doing it.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageWe cannot make another person change his or her steps to an old dance, but if we change our own steps, the dance no longer can continue in the same predictable pattern.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageOur society doesn’t promote self-acceptance and it never will. First of all, self-acceptance doesn’t sell products. Capitalism would fall if we liked ourselves the way we are now. Also, people who feel shamed and inadequate themselves tend to pass it on.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageOnly through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our connectedness to others.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageSince in order to speak, one must first listen, learn to speak by listening.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageLife’s work is to wake up, to let the things that enter into the circle wake you up rather than put you to sleep. The only way to do this is to open, be curious, and develop some sense of sympathy for everything that comes along, to get to know its nature and let it teach you what it will.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageWe already have everything we need. There is no need for self-improvement. We are one blink of an eye away from being fully awake.

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EXPLORE TOPIC

Guilt