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Fears and expectations that date back to earlier experiences of dependency, but that didn’t arise during courtship or dating, are activated as commitment to the relationship increases. As a result, partners start to anticipate the worst, not the best from their relationship.

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Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, is a teacher, clinician, researcher, and developer of the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy® (PACT), a fusion of attachment theory, developmental neuroscience, and arousal regulation. He speaks and teaches on how to create and support secure-functioning relationships.