TOPIC

Shame



Shame is one of our most painful, powerful, and complex emotions. Unlike guilt, which is usually focused on a particular behavior or action, shame is an intense judgment of self. It instills feelings of being flawed and unworthy, and it is usually introduced to us through external criticism or ridicule for having done, expressed, or believed something considered socially inappropriate, unacceptable, or harmful. Shame motivates us to withdraw, hide, and disconnect from others, to mask crucial parts of ourselves, or to lash out aggressively in self-defense. We all carry the weight of shame, but it is possible to free ourselves from its immense burden and live fully into our whole being.

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02:39

Healing Shame: Understand and Transform

Shame is perhaps the most painful of all emotions. It is at the root of both the inner critic and perfectionism. It binds with and hides behind other emotions, such as anger and fear, so that it is often hard to detect. Shame cannot be worked with in the same way as the other primary emotions.

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Shame: Free Yourself, Find Joy and Build True Self Esteem

Human beings everywhere, in every culture and on every continent in the world over, experience shame in exactly the same way: gaze aversion, brief mental confusion, and a longing to disappear, usually accompanied by blushing of the face, neck, or chest.

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How to Listen to Pain

Why do we feel shame and how does shame change us?

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FindCenterOur society doesn’t promote self-acceptance and it never will. First of all, self-acceptance doesn’t sell products. Capitalism would fall if we liked ourselves the way we are now. Also, people who feel shamed and inadequate themselves tend to pass it on.

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15:06

How Telling Our Silenced Stories Can Change the World | Anne Hallward | TEDxDirigo

Shame is at the intersection of individual psychology healing and social change. Clinically, when we follow the path of our shame, we experience the greatest healing, and culturally, when we move past the power of shame we can act together to improve civil rights for all.

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Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You

In Conquering Shame and Codependency, Darlene Lancer sheds new light on shame: how codependents’ feelings and beliefs about shame affect their identity, their behavior, and how shame can corrode relationships, destroying trust and love.

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The Antidote for Shame

The author of Discovering Your Soul Signature reveals how to free yourself—finally.

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FindCenterThe basis of shame is not some personal mistake of ours, but the ignominy, the humiliation we feel that we must be what we are without any choice in the matter, and that this humiliation is seen by everyone.

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02:37

Brené Brown: Focus on Guilt Instead of Shame

The bestselling author explains the difference between the two and why the distinction is crucial.

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It Wasn’t Your Fault: Freeing Yourself from the Shame of Childhood Abuse with the Power of Self-Compassion

Shame is one of the most destructive of human emotions. If you suffered childhood physical or sexual abuse, you may experience such intense feelings of shame that it almost seems to define you as a person. In order to begin healing, it’s important for you to know that it wasn’t your fault.

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