By Amy Florian
While keeping busy can be a positive thing, we need to make sure that keeping busy is not an excuse to avoid grief and deny pain.
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No matter what you say to someone whose parent or loved one died, it should be derivative of the same goal: communicating empathy and offering assistance, understanding what a person might need from you, and knowing how to phrase sentiments the right way.
It’s hard to know what to say to a friend who is grieving. Here’s what you should keep in mind.
This is what it looks like when you grieve the death of an estranged parent. It’s this surreal thing, where everyone expects you to feel something—yet you don’t. For me, it didn’t feel like I lost a parent, or a loved one, or even a close friend. It felt like I’d lost what could have been.
One of the best ways adults can help young grievers is to listen to their stories. Telling their story is a healing experience.
Sorrow, relief and guilt are just a few emotions that may come up when your estranged parent dies.
Throughout his profound spiritual awakening, the great Tibetan yogi Shabkar experienced immense loss resulting in grief marked by raw pain, a sense of disorientation, sadness, and tears.
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"But now we’re asked — and sometimes forced — to carry grief as a solitary burden. And the psyche knows we are not capable of handling grief in isolation." - Francis Weller
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Instead of the routine, "Your mother’s fine; we’re calling to inform you about…” this time the nurse said, “Your mother has stopped eating. - Sabina Nawaz
"It's been a little over two months since I lost my mom to cancer. When I say the words “I lost my mom" out loud, they don't seem right, because a lost sock can be found again. This isn't just a missing sock. This is a huge hole in my gut, which will never, ever go away." - Katie Karambelas
While there is no way to predict how your child will react to the death of a parent, or how this loss will affect them, some circumstances may increase the likelihood that a child will experience depression after a parent dies.