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The real questions for parents should be: ‘Are you engaged? Are you paying attention?’ If so, plan to make lots of mistakes and bad decisions. Imperfect parenting moments turn into gifts as our children watch us try to figure out what went wrong and how we can do better next time.

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Cassandra Brené Brown, PhD, is an American author, public speaker, researcher, and social worker. She has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy and is the author of numerous #1 New York Times bestsellers on these subjects.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageNo matter how simplified or complicated life gets, it can make us miserable or it can wake us up.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageThe miracle is that your children will love you with all your imperfections if you can do the same for them.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageExcessive use of external motivation can slow and even stop your journey to mastery.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageLearning any new skill involves relatively brief spurts of progress, each of which is followed by a slight decline to a plateau somewhat higher in most cases than that which preceded it . . . the upward spurts vary; the plateaus have their own dips and rises along the way. . . .

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FindCenter Quotes ImageWhat we call ‘mastery’ can be defined as that mysterious process through which what is at first difficult or even impossible becomes easy and pleasurable through diligent, patient, long-term practice.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageIndecision leads to inaction, which leads to low energy, depression, despair.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageUltimately, nothing in this life is ‘commonplace,’ nothing is ‘in between.’ The threads that join your every act, your every thought, are infinite. All paths of mastery eventually merge. [Each person has a] vantage point that offers a truth of its own.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageResolve to do the things you find to be difficult. That’s what confident people do. They tackle those things that are scary and they get addicted to doing it.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageAs many conventionally unhappy parents did in the 1950s, my parents stayed together for the sake of the children—they divorced after my youngest brother left home for college.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageHow could so many intelligent people be so grievously wrong for such an extended period of time? How could they ignore so much overwhelming evidence that contradicted their most basic theories? These questions, too, deserve their own discipline: the sociology of error.

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Internal Family Systems