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Harriet Lerner



Harriet Lerner is an American psychologist and preeminent voice on the psychology of women, family, and relationships. She is the author of several books on these subjects, including the New York Times bestseller The Dance of Anger.

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The Mother Dance: How Children Change Your Life

From the celebrated author of The Dance of Anger comes an extraordinary book about mothering and how it transforms us—and all our relationships—inside and out.

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Ten Steps to Having Both a Relationship and a Self

How to have a strong self and a strong relationship without losing either.

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Why Won’t You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts

Renowned psychologist and bestselling author of The Dance of Anger sheds new light on the two most important words in the English language—I’m sorry—and offers a unique perspective on the challenge of healing broken connections and restoring trust. Dr.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageOnly through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our connectedness to others.

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Three Simple Rules for Criticizing a Difficult Person

These three rules for voicing your criticisms are game changers.

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The Dance of Anger: A Woman’s Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships

Anger is something we feel. It exists for a reason and always deserves our respect and attention. We all have a right to everything we feel—and certainly our anger is no exception. "Anger is a signal and one worth listening to," writes Dr.

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The Dance of Intimacy: A Woman’s Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships

In The Dance of Intimacy, the bestselling author of The Dance of Anger outlines the steps to take so that good relationships can be strengthened and difficult ones can be healed.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageThe strongest relationships are between two people who can live without each other but don’t want to.

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The Dance of Deception: A Guide to Authenticity and Truth-Telling in Women’s Relationships

When The Dance of Deception was published, Lerner discovered that women were not eager to identify with the subject. “Well, I don’t do deception” was a common response. We all “do deception,” often with the intention to protect ourselves and the relationships we depend on.

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The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You’re Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate

The key problem in relationships, particularly over time, is that people begin to lose their voice.

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Brené Brown