By D. Killian — 2003
It sounds simple, yet it’s more than a technique for resolving conflict. It’s a different way of understanding human motivation and behavior.
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Learning to express anger in a healthy way will help couples resolve conflicts, instead of letting them simmer.
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The very qualities that lead to greater emotional satisfaction in peer marriages, as one sociologist calls them, may be having an unexpectedly negative impact on these couples’ sex lives.
A hard conversation is about trying to sort of understand more focus on descriptions and sharing experience but not wrapping it all up neatly at the end because when you try to do that, you’re sort of pushing through what actually is the hard thing
It’s become more and more difficult to remain vulnerable, trusting, and open to life in this era of uncertainty, global upheaval, divorce, and disrupted family life.
Think of some of the greatest joys in your life, and also some of your deepest sorrows and frustrations. Chances are, they all have to do with relationships. - Melanie Joy
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Some tips to help you nourish each other's hearts.
If the answers are no, there’s likely going to be a problem.
When people are threatened, evolutionary biology dictates extreme reactions: flee or fight? Donna Hicks, who studies conflict resolution at Harvard, says that this dynamic is at the core of much global tension—it’s just scaled up to the level of cities or countries.
In The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Dr. John Gottman’s research proves that 69% of problems in a relationship are unsolvable. These may be things like personality traits your partner has that rub you the wrong way, or long-standing issues around spending and saving money.
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If we learn to see our relationships as the wonderfully accurate mirrors they are, revealing to us where we need to go with our own inner process, we can see much about ourselves that we would otherwise have a great deal of difficulty learning.