Raising Antiracist Kids: The Power of Intentional Conversations About Race and Parenting

Parents, caregivers and educators know that having conversations with kids about race and racism are important, but they often don’t know when and how to have them. YOU ARE NOT ALONE Raising Antiracist Kids by Nicole Lee is meant to help adults confront discomfort and misconceptions about antiracism so they can build antiracist spaces with the important young people in their lives. Raising Antiracist Kids explores: How early kids are developmentally ready to talk about race How to actually have those conversations Common mistakes adults make when having these conversations Ways to model anti-racism in your life, because kids learn better when they see it than when they hear it Why it’s okay for your kids to know that you are learning right alongside them. Hint: It’s not a problem if you don’t have all the answers! Platitudes about how kids “don’t see race” and how we need to “treat everyone equally” are rooted in our discomfort and disproven by evidence. In Raising Antiracist Kids, Nicole Lee pushes past the common reasons people give for not discussing antiracism with the children in their lives, and provides age-appropriate guidance and practical advice on how to put good intentions into action. THE IMPACT OF AVOIDANCE IS CLEAR As with any important topic, our children need and deserve our support in understanding how to be anti-racist. They need to hear it and see it modeled in our lives. A nuanced understanding of race and racism is necessary for our children’s healthy social and emotional development. Awareness of race prepares them to think realistically and critically, to gain self-awareness and to bond appropriately with peers. AWARENESS IS PART OF PREPARATION Many white parents didn’t get explicit messages about navigating race in society and were taught to be “colorblind” or that conversations about race were impolite. These same parents feel a lot of shame and embarrassment about not being able to have these conversations with their own children. White children who are not prepared will encounter the same failure, shame,and grief we see in adults who are the unconscious and conscious purveyors of racist beliefs and actions today. INTENTIONAL CONVERSATIONS ABOUT RACE & PARENTING In conversations with parents all over the US and Canada, white parents reported these concerns: Their parents never spoke to them about race Their parents didn’t know what to say The subject matter was considered too complicated for adults, so how could children understand? Parents wanted to preserve the “innocence” of childhood Both parents did not agree on the necessity of discussions or how to approach conversations about race parents believed that they lived in a diverse environment, so their children would naturally not be racist because we have not seen these conversations modeled for us, there is a perpetual cycle of avoidance that spans generations. We can change this cycle.