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Criticism and blame are addictions. They are costly addictions, because they are the number-one destroyer of intimacy in close relationships.

By Gay Hendricks
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Gay Hendricks, PhD, is a psychologist, author, and teacher in the fields of personal growth, relationship transformation, and body/mind therapies. He conducts workshops with his wife, Kathlyn (Katie) Hendricks. They cofounded the Hendricks Institute, which teaches core skills for conscious living and loving, and together have written twelve books.

More Gay Hendricks
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ADHD and Relationships

If you have ADHD, you might find it hard to date, make friends, or parent. That’s partly because good relationships require you to be aware of other people's thoughts and feelings. But ADHD can make it hard for you to pay attention or react the right way.

Article
Hope Cristol
2021
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Does a More Equal Marriage Mean Less Sex?

The very qualities that lead to greater emotional satisfaction in peer marriages, as one sociologist calls them, may be having an unexpectedly negative impact on these couples’ sex lives.

Article
Lori Gottlieb
2014
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Let’s Talk About Hard Things

Anna Sale wants you to have that conversation. You know the one. The one that you’ve been avoiding or putting off, maybe for years.

Book
Anna Sale
2021
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The Spirit of Intimacy: Ancient African Teachings in the Ways of Relationships

Somi generously applies the subtle knowledge from her West African culture to this one. Simply and beautifully, she reveals the role of spirit in every marriage, friendship, relationship, and community.

Book
Sobonfu Some
2000
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The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved

We all yearn for intimacy, but we avoid it. We want it badly, but we often run from it. At some deep level we sense that we have a profound need for intimacy, but we are afraid to go there. Why? We avoid intimacy because having intimacy means exposing our secrets.

Book
Matthew Kelly
2015
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The Real Problem with Sexual Withholding in a Marriage

The problem with sexual withholding in a marriage has far less to do with actually having or not having sex and much more to do with misunderstanding.

Article
Suzanne Phillips
2015
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In Search of Erotic Intelligence

Couples are having less sex these days than even in the famously uptight ’50s. Why?

Article
Esther Perel
2003
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05:08

Who Initiates Sex and Why It Matters So Much

The issue of who shows an interest in having a physical relationship in a couple might be mistaken for rather trivial; after all, what counts is that it happens, not that one or the other party initiates.

Video
2018
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The Highly Sensitive Person in Love: Understanding and Managing Relationships When the World Overwhelms You

Do you fall in love hard, but fear intimacy? Are you sick of being told that you are “too sensitive”? Do you struggle to respect a less-sensitive partner? Or have you given up on love, afraid of being too sensitive or shy to endure its wounds? Statistics show that 50 percent of what determines...

Book
Elaine N. Aron
2001
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EXPLORE TOPIC

Criticism and Rejection