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02:13 min
CLEAR ALL
This story is about a mom and a step-dad who had argued a lot over a teenage daughter who was rude and home and unwilling to do her part. The step-dad shifted to using a non-defensive statement and got very different results.
We are used to asking questions in ways that convey judgment and/or are interrogating or entrapping. Much of the body language and tone we use is unconscious. To be real, a question needs to be based on pure curiosity, but it's easier said than done.
Sharon Strand Ellison, the author of Taking the War Out of Our Words, is a pioneer in the field of eliminating defensiveness. An international communication consultant and award-winning speaker, Sharon is the Founder and Executive Director of the Institute for Powerful Non-Defensive Communication.