By Jennifer Freed — 2020
One of the hardest aspects of being human is moving past shame. Those feelings of deep regret—and the lingering insecurity and unworthiness that most likely accompany them—stick with us in a way that can be profound.
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Sheila Rubin writes about transformance, a term used to describe “the force in the psyche that’s moving towards growth and expansion and transformation,” and the idea that healing is “not just an outcome but a process that exists within each person that emerges in conditions of safety.”
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There’s an expectation of what is supposed to happen during the holidays: images of a family gathered around a tree, presents, food, love and connection as people smile at each other. But if your family is different, there sometimes can be shame.
Our culture has taught us that we do not have the privilege of being vulnerable like other communities.
I am not the only one that has uttered something shitty to their kid. Everyone has had their asshole parent moment(s)(s)(s) while dealing with a kid. But no one really knows that we are all asshole parents because we all suffer in silence over our own parenting disgrace.
The pandemic has exacerbated the isolation of early motherhood; some apps are trying to create a safer space for new moms.
When shame takes over, all we want is to get out of its discomfort—and in order to do so we often end up invalidating the other person involved to help ourselves feel better.
A trend that is unfortunately common with individuals and mothers in this generation is “Mom Shaming,” which generally speaking is criticizing a mother for making choices for her child(ren) because they differ from the choices the criticizing person would make.
Taking a close look at the elephant hidden in plain sight.
With myriad back-to-school options to choose from, moms’ groups have hit judgment overload.
We are worthy because we are there every day with love, hope and faith. We love. We laugh. We encourage. Even though we don't know what the future holds. We mother in spite of that uncertainty.