By Sa’iyda Shabazz — 2015
The last time I had sex was on my son’s 1st birthday — and he just turned 4. As he blew out the candles on his cake, I silently blew out candles on my own imaginary cake: “Happy not having sex for three years.”
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As a four-year-old, Tom used to cling on to his mother at every possible chance; fast forward by ten years he wouldn’t want his mom to enter his room; and now, when he is 25, Tom wouldn’t share his problems with his mom lest she gets worried.
Ideas and expectations regarding gender roles have changed quite a bit in the past 50 years. However, the patterns that have influenced human behavior for centuries are still potent, especially when members of older generations are involved.
Despite my efforts to never instruct either of my kids on gender-specific behavior, and certainly never suggest that anyone but me is the boss of the house, seeing my son exert these typical “manly” qualities made me wonder: Is this just how he is? Or am I somehow informing that he is the...