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The only reason we don’t open our hearts and minds to other people is that they trigger confusion in us that we don’t feel brave enough or sane enough to deal with. To the degree that we look clearly and compassionately at ourselves, we feel confident and fearless about looking into someone else’s eyes.

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Pema Chödrön is an ordained American Tibetan Buddhist nun. In addition to her work establishing the Tibetan Buddhist monastic tradition in the West, she is an author and teacher, working with spiritual seekers of all traditions. Her book When Things Fall Apart is a classic work on handling uncertainty.

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FindCenter Quotes ImagePeople’s sense of self-worth is pivotal to their ability to look clearly at the hurt they’ve caused. The more solid one’s sense of self regard, the more likely that that person can feel empathy and compassion for the hurt party, and apologize from an authentic center.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageOnly through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our connectedness to others.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageExperience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn.

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