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Our society doesn’t promote self-acceptance and it never will. First of all, self-acceptance doesn’t sell products. Capitalism would fall if we liked ourselves the way we are now. Also, people who feel shamed and inadequate themselves tend to pass it on. I’m sure you’ve noticed that many individuals and groups try to enhance their self-esteem by diminishing others.

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Harriet Lerner is an American psychologist and preeminent voice on the psychology of women, family, and relationships. She is the author of several books on these subjects, including the New York Times bestseller The Dance of Anger.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageI have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.

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FindCenter Quotes Image'Knock and it shall be opened.’ But does knocking mean hammering and kicking the door like a maniac?

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FindCenter Quotes ImageDo not waste time bothering whether you ‘love’ your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageIt may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for a bird to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.

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FindCenter Quotes ImagePride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man. . . . It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition is gone, pride is gone.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageEveryone thinks forgiveness is a lovely idea until he has something to forgive.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageDo not let us mistake necessary evils for good.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageCourage is not simply one of the virtues but the form of every virtue at the testing point, which means at the point of highest reality.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageI have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageMental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say ‘My tooth is aching’ than to say ‘My heart is broken.’

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Self-Acceptance