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When forgiveness experts talk in binary language (’You either forgive the wrongdoer or you are a prisoner of your own anger and hate’), they are collapsing the messy complexity of human emotions into a simplistic dichotomous equation.

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Harriet Lerner is an American psychologist and preeminent voice on the psychology of women, family, and relationships. She is the author of several books on these subjects, including the New York Times bestseller The Dance of Anger.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageLetting ourselves be forgiven is one of the most difficult healings we will undertake. And one of the most fruitful.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageThe major problem of life is learning how to handle the costly interruptions. The door that slams shut, the plan that got sidetracked, the marriage that failed. Or that lovely poem that didn’t get written because someone knocked on the door.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageHow ironic that the difficult times we fear might ruin us are the very ones that can break us open and help us blossom into who we were meant to be.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageOne day, someone showed me a glass of water that was half full. And he said, ‘Is it half full or half empty?’ So I drank the water. No more problem.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageWe read to know we are not alone.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageThere is no gain without struggle.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageWe are what we believe we are!

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FindCenter Quotes ImageI have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.

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FindCenter Quotes Image'Knock and it shall be opened.’ But does knocking mean hammering and kicking the door like a maniac?

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FindCenter Quotes ImageDo not waste time bothering whether you ‘love’ your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him.

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Forgiveness