The Love Avoidance Cycle: The Pattern of Avoiding Intimacy and Emotional Unavailability.

Dr. Kate discusses how someone in a love addiction cycle generally pairs up with someone in a love avoidance cycle, because their needs are similar but opposite in terms of how they're expressed. Someone in a love avoidance cycle typically enters a relationship under a feeling of obligation or duty. They believe they "should", it's expected, or they don't want to hurt someone else. They are very aware of the expectations of the person they're in a relationship with, and they are able to pour themselves into that "role". As a child they likely learned to perform for a parent for approval. However, it's very burdensome to not show up as their authentic self, so they start to feel angry, overwhelmed and resentful. Over time, those feelings are so big that the loving has to break. The pressure to be the person they're expected to be is too much.