By Andrew Pulrang — 2021
Disability activism is empowering. Keys to getting started are staying open, sharing the stage, working collaboratively, listening and learning, and being willing to ask for help to make it less scary.
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When it comes to transitioning, you have to ask for help. This applies to mental health, fitness, and most importantly, to career transition.
“If there’s something I can do to help, don’t be afraid to ask.” This is a courtesy friends and family often extend to you as a caregiver. You thank them, but then how often do you follow up? What is it that’s holding you back from accepting their offer?
People wildly underestimate the odds that others will help us, says social psychologist Heidi Grant. From strangers to colleagues to friends, we think people are likely to reject our request, and that leads to people not asking for help as much as we should.
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We identified 8 reasons why this might be true for many introverts.
In a society largely based on helping yourself — just go to any bookstore or library and browse the voluminous self-help section — it may seem odd to promote the idea that we need to learn better ways to ask for and receive assistance. But a small movement is saying just that.
We all have moments in our lives when we require the assistance of others. We don’t ever know all there is to know or have the skills to do everything proficiently or successfully. We certainly don’t expect that of others, either.
I’ve been disabled and intensely ill with the degenerative neuro-immuno illness myalgic encephalomyelitis (formerly known by the misnomer “chronic fatigue syndrome”) for 30 years.
“Healing takes time, and asking for help is a courageous step.” – Mariska Hargitay
Asking for help is hard. Really hard. People say they understand that. When someone is brave enough to ask for help when they are in a desperate situation they are congratulated on recognizing they can’t do it on their own. But do people really understand what it takes?
Learn to communicate skillfully with others so you can get the help you need.