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We fear that evaluating our needs and then carefully choosing partners will reveal that there is no one for us to love. Most of us prefer to have a partner who is lacking than no partner at all. What becomes apparent is that we may be more interested in finding a partner than in knowing love.

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bell hooks (1952–2021) was the pen name of Gloria Jean Watkins, MA, PhD, an American professor, social activist, feminist, author, and cultural critic. Her writing focused on the intersectionality of capitalism, gender, and race and their combined ability to perpetuate systemic institutions of oppression and injustice.

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FindCenter Quotes ImagePeople’s sense of self-worth is pivotal to their ability to look clearly at the hurt they’ve caused. The more solid one’s sense of self regard, the more likely that that person can feel empathy and compassion for the hurt party, and apologize from an authentic center.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageWhen we do not put our primary emotional energy into solving our own problems, we take on other people’s problems as our own.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageOnly through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our connectedness to others.

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EXPLORE TOPIC

Loneliness