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Because so many of us carry shame, we have a tendency to personalize love’s leavings, triggered by the rejection and feelings of abandonment. But this is not always true. Sometimes it has nothing to do with us. Sometimes the one who leaves is just not ready to hold it safe. Sometimes they know something we don’t—they know their limits at that moment in time. Real love is no easy path—readiness is everything. May we grieve loss without personalizing it. May we learn to love ourselves in the absence of the lover.

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Jeff Brown is a Canadian author, filmmaker, and speaker focusing on spiritual growth. He is the founder of Soulshaping Institute, which he created to support others in their efforts to find their own path and purpose and to bridge the emotional and the spiritual life in a sustainable way.

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Far from the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity

Solomon’s startling proposition in Far from the Tree is that being exceptional is at the core of the human condition—that difference is what unites us.

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InBrief: Early Childhood Mental Health

Science tells us that the foundations of sound mental health are built early in life. Early experiences—including children’s relationships with parents, caregivers, relatives, teachers, and peers—interact with genes to shape the architecture of the developing brain.

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Why Shaming Your Children Is a Bad Idea and What You Can Do Instead

As parents, we need to step off our pedestal, stop dominating our kids, and instead treat them as we like to be treated. After all, do you like being shamed? Does it bring out the best in you?

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How Children Develop Toxic Shame

The mild feeling of shame — the prefrontal cortex clutch shifting — is how kids learn to shift themselves from "forbidden" behavior to acceptable behavior.

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02:37

Brené Brown: Focus on Guilt Instead of Shame

The bestselling author explains the difference between the two and why the distinction is crucial.

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EXPLORE TOPIC

Abandonment