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Because so many of us carry shame, we have a tendency to personalize love’s leavings, triggered by the rejection and feelings of abandonment. But this is not always true. Sometimes it has nothing to do with us. Sometimes the one who leaves is just not ready to hold it safe. Sometimes they know something we don’t—they know their limits at that moment in time. Real love is no easy path—readiness is everything. May we grieve loss without personalizing it. May we learn to love ourselves in the absence of the lover.

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Jeff Brown is a Canadian author, filmmaker, and speaker focusing on spiritual growth. He is the founder of Soulshaping Institute, which he created to support others in their efforts to find their own path and purpose and to bridge the emotional and the spiritual life in a sustainable way.

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Emotional Inflammation: Discover Your Triggers and Reclaim Your Equilibrium During Anxious Times

If you’ve suffered from sleep problems, hyperreactivity, persistent grief, or inescapable worry about the future―especially triggered by the nonstop news cycle―then you’re probably dealing with emotional inflammation. The good news is: there’s something you can do about it.

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Abandonment