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I’ve also learned that you don’t always get to pick the people with whom you travel the journey. You sometimes may think you do, but don’t be deceived. And the corollary of that — and this was my real lesson — is that you start to realize that you can love even the people you don’t like and must love and help everyone.

By Lama Surya Das
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Lama Surya Das is an American poet, author, and Western Buddhist meditation teacher and scholar. He is one of the main interpreters of Tibetan Buddhism in the West and is a leading spokesperson for American Buddhism. He is also the founder of the Dzogchen Center in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

More Lama Surya Das
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FindCenter Quotes ImageDo not waste time bothering whether you ‘love’ your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him.

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C. S. Lewis
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FindCenter Quotes ImageIf you love deeply, you’re going to get hurt badly. But it’s still worth it.

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C. S. Lewis
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FindCenter Quotes ImageEmpathetic listening is an awesome medication for the hurting heart.

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Gary Chapman
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FindCenter Quotes ImageThe miracle is that your children will love you with all your imperfections if you can do the same for them.

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Harriet Lerner
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FindCenter Quotes ImageIf only our passion to understand others were as great as our passion to be understood. Were this so, all our apologies would be truly meaningful and healing.

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Harriet Lerner
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FindCenter Quotes ImageWhen forgiveness experts talk in binary language (’You either forgive the wrongdoer or you are a prisoner of your own anger and hate’), they are collapsing the messy complexity of human emotions into a simplistic dichotomous equation.

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Harriet Lerner
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FindCenter Quotes ImagePeople’s sense of self-worth is pivotal to their ability to look clearly at the hurt they’ve caused. The more solid one’s sense of self regard, the more likely that that person can feel empathy and compassion for the hurt party, and apologize from an authentic center.

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Harriet Lerner
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FindCenter Quotes ImageAvoidance will make you feel less vulnerable in the short run, but it will never make you less afraid.

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Harriet Lerner
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FindCenter Quotes ImageHappiness is closer to the experience of acceptance and contentment than it is to pleasure. True happiness exists as the spacious and compassionate heart’s willingness to feel whatever is present.

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Noah Levine
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FindCenter Quotes ImageThe best apologies are short, and don’t go on to include explanations that run the risk of undoing them. An apology isn’t the only chance you ever get to address the underlying issue. The apology is the chance you get to establish the ground for future communication.

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Harriet Lerner
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Acceptance