By Juliana Breines — 2013
What can we do to disarm the green-eyed monster when it strikes?
Read on greatergood.berkeley.edu
CLEAR ALL
Most of us struggle at one time or another with an inability to feel what’s going on inside us at the level of emotion and energy flow. The technical term for this problem is “alexithymia.”
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My best resource turns out to be websites that offer ten, twenty-five, or 101 relationship tips. The sites are silly, and the ads gum up my computer, but I learn about concepts like compassion, forgiveness, and presence.
Understanding how and why can help people cope with the disorder.
If you have ADHD, you might find it hard to date, make friends, or parent. That’s partly because good relationships require you to be aware of other people's thoughts and feelings. But ADHD can make it hard for you to pay attention or react the right way.
Forgiving someone is a way of letting go of old baggage so that you can heal and move forward with your life. It benefits both the person who forgives and the offender because it can allow both people to let go of past resentments.
Conflict doesn’t mean the end of your remarriage, and can actually make it stronger. There are always going to be disagreements; you cannot avoid them entirely. What you can do, however, is become skilled at recovering from disputes by talking about your perspectives afterwards.
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“For your husband, your illness may have made him acutely aware of not just your mortality, but also his own.”
You not calling, as a friend, can actually compound the grief and loss they are feeling. Just pick up the phone, even if you get it wrong, just have a conversation and do your best. Your friend with cancer is still the same person they were before.
It’s natural to get defensive, but that only escalates the cycle of aggression.
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Includes Frequently Asked Questions about how to communicate and cope.