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Finally I am coming to the conclusion that my highest ambition is to be what I already am. That I will never fulfill my obligation to surpass myself unless I first accept myself, and if I accept myself fully in the right way, I will already have surpassed myself.

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Thomas Merton (1915–1968) was an American Roman Catholic Trappist monk, poet, author, theologian, student of interfaith understanding, and activist for social change. His work dove deep into the ways in which religions are similar, and he envisioned a more peaceful world through helping people understand and appreciate spiritual paths different from their own. He wrote over fifty books and countless essays on social justice, religion, and theology throughout his life, and he strove to weave mysticism into his works while connecting these beliefs to overarching societal ideas and structures.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageOnly through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our connectedness to others.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageWe cannot make another person change his or her steps to an old dance, but if we change our own steps, the dance no longer can continue in the same predictable pattern.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageRespect the fact that all you do and are now has evolved for a good reason and serves an important purpose.

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FindCenter Quotes ImagePeople’s sense of self-worth is pivotal to their ability to look clearly at the hurt they’ve caused. The more solid one’s sense of self regard, the more likely that that person can feel empathy and compassion for the hurt party, and apologize from an authentic center.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageWhen we do not put our primary emotional energy into solving our own problems, we take on other people’s problems as our own.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageAnger is a tool for change when it challenges us to become more of an expert on the self and less of an expert on others.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageLetting go of anger and hate requires us to give up the hope for a different past, along with the hope of a fantasized future. What we gain is a life more in the present, where we are not mired in prolonged anger and resentment that doesn’t serve us.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageBut one of the hallmarks of emotional maturity is to recognize the validity of multiple realities and to understand that people think, feel, and react differently. Often we behave as if ‘closeness’ means ‘sameness.’

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FindCenter Quotes ImageOur society doesn’t promote self-acceptance and it never will. First of all, self-acceptance doesn’t sell products. Capitalism would fall if we liked ourselves the way we are now. Also, people who feel shamed and inadequate themselves tend to pass it on.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageThe strongest relationships are between two people who can live without each other but don’t want to.

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Building Character