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Our scars are part of our story, but they are not its conclusion. The past is ours and will always be a part of us, and yet it is not all there is. It’s a process, moving from wounds to scars to grief to showing those scars. It takes time, and maybe therapy, and maybe being vulnerable in community, and maybe working through the twelve steps, and maybe making a lot of mistakes, and maybe experiencing a tiny bit of joy.

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Nadia Bolz-Weber is an American theologian, New York Times bestselling author, and Lutheran minister. She served for ten years as the founding pastor of House for All Sinners and Saints in Denver, Colorado.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageOnly through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our connectedness to others.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageWe cannot make another person change his or her steps to an old dance, but if we change our own steps, the dance no longer can continue in the same predictable pattern.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageWe meet no ordinary people in our lives.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageStay a verb—don’t become a noun.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageIf you bring forth what is within you it will save you. If you do not, it will destroy you.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageWe must not confuse letting go of past injuries with feeling an obligation to let the injurers back into our life. The freedom of forgiveness often includes a firm boundary and loving distance from those who have harmed us.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageWhen forgiveness experts talk in binary language (’You either forgive the wrongdoer or you are a prisoner of your own anger and hate’), they are collapsing the messy complexity of human emotions into a simplistic dichotomous equation.

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FindCenter Quotes ImagePeople’s sense of self-worth is pivotal to their ability to look clearly at the hurt they’ve caused. The more solid one’s sense of self regard, the more likely that that person can feel empathy and compassion for the hurt party, and apologize from an authentic center.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageWhen we take rejection as proof of our inadequacies, it’s hard to allow ourselves to risk being truly seen again. . . . The problem arises when shame kicks in and we aren’t able to view our flaws, limitations, and vulnerabilities in a patient, self-loving way.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageForgiveness is not just a selfish pursuit of personal satisfaction or righteousness. It actually alleviates the amount of suffering in the world.

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EXPLORE TOPIC

Dysfunctional Childhood