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The Heart of the Buddha

By Thubten Chodron — 2020

Thubten Chodron on how to develop bodhichitta, the aspiration to attain buddhahood in order to benefit others.

Read on www.lionsroar.com

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People’s sense of self-worth is pivotal to their ability to look clearly at the hurt they’ve caused. The more solid one’s sense of self regard, the more likely that that person can feel empathy and compassion for the hurt party, and apologize from an authentic center.

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Harriet Lerner
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The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You’re Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate

The key problem in relationships, particularly over time, is that people begin to lose their voice.

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Harriet Lerner
2002
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If only our passion to understand others were as great as our passion to be understood. Were this so, all our apologies would be truly meaningful and healing.

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Harriet Lerner
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Respect the fact that all you do and are now has evolved for a good reason and serves an important purpose.

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Harriet Lerner
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When forgiveness experts talk in binary language (’You either forgive the wrongdoer or you are a prisoner of your own anger and hate’), they are collapsing the messy complexity of human emotions into a simplistic dichotomous equation.

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Harriet Lerner
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When we do not put our primary emotional energy into solving our own problems, we take on other people’s problems as our own.

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Harriet Lerner
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Anger is a tool for change when it challenges us to become more of an expert on the self and less of an expert on others.

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Harriet Lerner
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Avoidance will make you feel less vulnerable in the short run, but it will never make you less afraid.

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Harriet Lerner
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The best apologies are short, and don’t go on to include explanations that run the risk of undoing them. An apology isn’t the only chance you ever get to address the underlying issue. The apology is the chance you get to establish the ground for future communication.

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Harriet Lerner
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The enormous challenge is to make wise decisions about how and when to say what to whom, and even before that, to know what we really want to say and what we hope to accomplish by saying it.

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Harriet Lerner
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EXPLORE TOPIC

Buddhism