By Adam Grant
When leaders lack the wisdom to question their convictions, followers need the courage to persuade them to change their minds.
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CLEAR ALL
It sounds simple, yet it’s more than a technique for resolving conflict. It’s a different way of understanding human motivation and behavior.
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All relationships go through phases, there will be good times and challenges. When you recognize that your relationship is in a rough spot, take heart. Great relationships don’t happen by luck. There are the specific skills and actions that strengthen our relationships.
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Couples’ fights in lockdown are often about the unremitting intensity of togetherness. The sooner you de-escalate a fight, the sooner you can begin working on real solutions.
Learning to fight fairly is key to preserving goodwill in all our relationships, from personal to public. Stan Tatkin and his partner Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, codevelopers of the Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy, say the key lies in staying connected even as you express your unhappiness.
How couples fight is just as important as how they love, and it's one of the most predictive factors for a successful relationship. All couples have conflict and will cause each other distress from time to time.
If we want more depth and intimacy and joy in our relationships, we're going to have to develop more emotional connection with our partners, our friends, our family, our co-workers. It's that simple and that challenging.
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Have you ever noticed that we are all messengers? Every one of us uses the word to form our opinions, to express our point of view. We are constantly using the word to deliver and receive messages to those around us and even to ourselves.
Richard Saul Wurman describes his work as the promotion of understanding. “I am in the understanding business,” he writes. As the founder of TED conferences, his projects and writing examine information, architecture, design, and communication.
I encourage you . . . to listen to phrases and words that seem to strike a chord in you. Try and bring more awareness and listen to the words that come out of your mouth. Notice if the words and phrases you use come from a true place of blessing within.
Whether he’s working in a war-torn area or an inner-city slum, Rosenberg’s goal is the same: to teach and encourage compassionate communication.