By By Arthur C. Brooks
Our fears about what other people think of us are overblown and rarely worth fretting over.
Read on www.theatlantic.com
CLEAR ALL
On Remembrance Day in the UK, and Veterans Day in the US, military veterans are thanked for their service and described as “heroes” but for many this word “hero” feels uncomfortable.
Shame typically comes up when you look inward with a critical eye and evaluate yourself harshly, often for things you have little control over.
After decades of obscurity-- confused with and overshadowed by guilt — shame is increasingly recognized as a powerful, painful and potentially dangerous emotion,- especially for those who don’t understand its origins or know how to manage it.
Guilt and shame can lead to depression, anxiety, and paranoia, but they also nudge us to behave better. Research suggests that they serve an important, adaptive function important for human survival.
At the end of the day, guilt and shame are crucial social emotions, as they keep people from acting in pure self-interest.
These four avenues can lead you toward self-forgiveness.
At a weekend workshop I led, one of the participants, Marian, shared her story about the shame and guilt that had tortured her.
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