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People’s sense of self-worth is pivotal to their ability to look clearly at the hurt they’ve caused. The more solid one’s sense of self regard, the more likely that that person can feel empathy and compassion for the hurt party, and apologize from an authentic center.

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Harriet Lerner is an American psychologist and preeminent voice on the psychology of women, family, and relationships. She is the author of several books on these subjects, including the New York Times bestseller The Dance of Anger.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageWhen forgiveness experts talk in binary language (’You either forgive the wrongdoer or you are a prisoner of your own anger and hate’), they are collapsing the messy complexity of human emotions into a simplistic dichotomous equation.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageEveryone thinks forgiveness is a lovely idea until he has something to forgive.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageForgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageWe must not confuse letting go of past injuries with feeling an obligation to let the injurers back into our life. The freedom of forgiveness often includes a firm boundary and loving distance from those who have harmed us.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageForgiveness is not just a selfish pursuit of personal satisfaction or righteousness. It actually alleviates the amount of suffering in the world.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageLetting ourselves be forgiven is one of the most difficult healings we will undertake. And one of the most fruitful.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageI think that if God forgives us we must forgive ourselves. Otherwise, it is almost like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than Him.

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FindCenter Quotes ImageForgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.

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EXPLORE TOPIC

Authenticity