Pleasing Parents

Our parents are usually the primary shapers of our early sense of ourselves and our future. Most of us grow up wanting to please our parents and have them be proud of us, but when our parents’ vision for our lives differs from our own, we can operate under enormous emotional, mental, and financial pressures to please our parents, leading us to make choices or behave in ways that are contrary to our authentic identity or values. Many of us operate for years under this pressure, pursuing hobbies, careers, or even relationships that don’t fulfill our wants or needs. When we assert our own desires, we can be made to feel like we are attacking or rejecting them, their values, or even our larger family and culture. Finding the strength—and compassion—to reestablish our relationship on our own terms is part of our path to well-being.