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Shame & transformation

Below are the best resources we could find on Shame and transformation.

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Transformance—What Can Happen When Shame Lifts

Sheila Rubin writes about transformance, a term used to describe “the force in the psyche that’s moving towards growth and expansion and transformation,” and the idea that healing is “not just an outcome but a process that exists within each person that emerges in conditions of safety.”

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Shame, Healing and Transformation, with Tara Brach

Being at war with ourselves blocks us from evolving our consciousness and living from our hearts. This talk distinguishes between toxic and healthy shame, as well as shame about our individual self and our group identity.

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How to Transform Shame Over the Holidays

There’s an expectation of what is supposed to happen during the holidays: images of a family gathered around a tree, presents, food, love and connection as people smile at each other. But if your family is different, there sometimes can be shame.

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His Family Found the Way to Cope

"I knew how progressive the disease was. I knew each time I used, I fell faster and faster. I knew when I went out that day I was a dead man. I didn't go out to do drugs. I went out to die."

Patricia Guthrie

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Love Is the Answer: Creating Positive Relationships

You can achieve harmony, forgiveness, and well-being, overcome any obstacle, build constructive relationships, heal illness, assuage the deepest grief. If you can recover the capacity to love, you can do anything.

Gerald G. Jampolsky, Diane V. Cirincione

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A Rabbi’s Guide on Making Amends and Letting Those Grudges Go

Judaism offers a series of ideas and guidelines for how to cope with offense and foster forgiveness. On Yom Kippur, it’s traditional to wear white, not only because white shows the slightest stain, but to remind us of the shrouds in which we will one day be buried.

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Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha

For many of us, feelings of deficiency are right around the corner. It doesn’t take much—just hearing of someone else’s accomplishments, being criticized, getting into an argument, making a mistake at work—to make us feel that we are not okay.

Tara Brach, Jack Kornfield (foreword)

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